| Apr 05 |
Gallagher
"Don't you wish there was a knob on the TV to turn up the intelligence? There's one marked 'Brightness,' but it doesn't work."
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| Apr 05 |
Anonymous
"Nobody knows the age of the human race, but everybody agrees that it is old enough to know better."
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| Apr 05 |
Joe Theismann
"Nobody in the game of football should be called a genius. A genius is somebody like Norman Einstein."
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| Apr 05 |
Dorothy Parker
"I'm never going to be famous. My name will never be writ large on the roster of Those Who Do Things. I don't do any thing. Not one single thing. I used to bite my nails, but I don't even do that any more."
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| Apr 04 |
Richard Feynman
"There are 10^11 stars in the galaxy. That used to be a huge number. But it's only a hundred billion. It's less than the national deficit! We used to call them astronomical numbers. Now we should call them economical numbers."
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| Apr 04 |
Henry Stimson
"The only way to make a man trustworthy is to trust him."
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| Apr 04 |
Johnny Carson
"I was so naive as a kid I used to sneak behind the barn and do nothing."
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| Apr 04 |
Samuel Goldwyn
"A verbal contract isn't worth the paper it's written on."
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| Apr 03 |
Erica Jong
"Advice is what we ask for when we already know the answer but wish we didn't."
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| Apr 03 |
Charles Bukowski
"The difference between a democracy and a dictatorship is that in a democracy you vote first and take orders later; in a dictatorship you don't have to waste your time voting."
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| Apr 03 |
Rita Mae Brown
"I finally figured out the only reason to be alive is to enjoy it."
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| Apr 03 |
H. L. Mencken
"It is impossible to imagine Goethe or Beethoven being good at billiards or golf."
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| Apr 02 |
Bob Thaves
"Remember, Ginger Rogers did everything Fred Astaire did, but backwards and in high heels."
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| Apr 02 |
Robert Orben
"Illegal aliens have always been a problem in the United States. Ask any Indian."
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| Apr 02 |
Sophocles
"The keenest sorrow is to recognize ourselves as the sole cause of all our adversities."
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| Apr 02 |
Henry Fielding
"Now, in reality, the world have paid too great a compliment to critics, and have imagined them to be men of much greater profundity than they really are."
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| Apr 01 |
Jules Feiffer
"Maturity is only a short break in adolescence."
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| Apr 01 |
Alice Thomas Ellis
"There is no reciprocity. Men love women, women love children, children love hamsters."
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| Apr 01 |
John Dryden
"None are so busy as the fool and knave."
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| Apr 01 |
Adrienne E. Gusoff
"I have often depended on the blindness of strangers."
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| Mar 31 |
J. Paul Getty
"If you can count your money, you don't have a billion dollars."
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| Mar 31 |
Arthur Schopenhauer
"Every nation ridicules other nations, and all are right."
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| Mar 31 |
Samuel Johnson
"Silence propagates itself, and the longer talk has been suspended, the more difficult it is to find anything to say."
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| Mar 31 |
Stephen Jay Gould
"The most erroneous stories are those we think we know best - and therefore never scrutinize or question."
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| Mar 30 |
Emo Phillips
"I was the kid next door's imaginary friend."
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